Art of the Regular

There are reservations, and then there are reservations.

One is something you make on an app three weeks in advance, selecting 7:15 because 7:30 mysteriously disappeared while you were typing in your credit card number. The other begins with, “Hey, it’s Joseph. Any chance you can squeeze us in around eight?”

“Of course. Come on by.”

That is the glorious little world of being a regular, and I’m convinced it remains one of life's most underrated luxuries.

Being a regular isn't necessarily about spending the most money. You don't need to order the 2015 Super Tuscan every Tuesday or arrive in a Bentley. You need to show up. Be pleasant. Learn people's names. Don't be an ass. And, yes, tip well. In Cash.

A Good Cash Tip When You Arrive

I'm decidedly old-school about cash tips. Hand someone $20, $50 or whatever is appropriate and say, “Thank you, I really appreciate it.”

They remember and not because you've bought them. But because you've acknowledged them. Cash has a remarkable memory. A $20 quietly handed to the valet (when you arrive) on a weeknight has an uncanny ability to turn into your car sitting right up front on Saturday night. No ticket archaeology. No 15-minute expedition into a parking garage hoping he doesn’t swipe the curb. You walk outside and there it is, A/C on, Sirius set to Jazz Café.

If They Know You, They Know Your Drink

The same principle applies inside. At a place where you're truly a regular, the bartender sees you coming and starts making your drink before you've sat down. Not because you've announced yourself as some sort of local celebrity, but because you've been there 40 times and you've treated him like a human being every time.

To Be Appreciated Is The Best Service

There is a certain pompous feeling about quietly nodding to the hostess and walking through 4 deep to your neatly set table. Other guests might wonder why, but those who know…know.

Even better is the waiter who understands your speed. This is hugely underrated. Some people apparently enjoy a two-hour dinner on a Wednesday night. I don't. A waiter who knows me understands that cocktails should arrive quickly, a cold Martini glass arrives when you are just midway through your first, menus shouldn't require a congressional hearing, and when we're finished eating, I'd like the check sometime before breakfast. But he also knows when I'm with friends or in deep conversation, I likely have nowhere to be.

That's service. That’s being a regular.

A Managed Relationship

Good restaurants aren't simply managing tables. They're managing relationships. And relationships are built over time. You show up when they're slow, not just when they're hot. You tip the bartender even when you only had one drink. You take care of the valet. You thank the hostess, maybe even bring her an orchid around Thanksgiving and you thank them profusely on the way out. Simply put, you take care of the people who take care of you.

Over time, something interesting happens. You stop being Table 42 and become Joe.

Your drink appears. Your preferred table mysteriously opens. The chef sends something out. The bartender pours something he thinks you'll like. The valet already has your keys in his hand when he sees you walking toward the door.

Sometimes luxury is simply walking through the door and hearing: “Good evening, Joseph, your table's ready.”