Men Who Smell

WHATEVER YOU DO, SMELL GOOD

There are thousands of men’s fragrances out there, each promising you’ll suddenly become irresistible, successful, or at least slightly less forgettable. Most vanish into department-store obscurity faster than last season’s skinny jeans. A chosen few dominate the shelves, your Instagram feed, and every elevator you’ve ever been trapped in. These are the scents that moved beyond “just cologne” and became cultural phenomena, luxury flexes, or, depending on who you ask, olfactory weapons of mass seduction.

Let’s start with the undisputed heavyweight champ: Dior Sauvage.

Loved By Johnny Depp

Since its 2015 launch, this blue-bottle juggernaut has sold so many units it might as well be piped through municipal water systems. A bottle reportedly sells every three seconds. Yes, while you were doom-scrolling through TikTok, four more guys sprayed on Sauvage before heading to brunch.

The formula is caveman-simple: bergamot, pepper, ambroxan. Boom. Clean, sharp, “I showered this week” energy. Dior spun the fragrance into every possible concentration—eau de toilette, parfum, elixir—like Pokémon evolutions for fragrance bros. If you’ve smelled a men’s locker room in the last decade, congratulations, you’ve smelled Sauvage. Lets face it, even having Johnny Depp as their spokesperson couldn’t dampen sales.

While Sauvage screams, Bleu de Chanel smooth-talks. This 2010 release is the quintessential “blue” fragrance: clean, fresh, and inoffensive. It’s what you buy when you want to smell good but don’t want to risk not smelling good. Think of it as the navy blazer of colognes—works for every occasion, looks (or smells) sharp, and nobody will ever say, “Oh, that’s too much.” Of course, Bleu’s popularity means you’re unlikely to be unique. Wear it on a date and there’s a good chance your date’s ex wore it too. It happens.

On the opposite end of the spectrum sits Baccarat Rouge 540, the unofficial scent of influencers, crypto millionaires, and anyone who really wants you to know they dropped half a paycheck at Saks (Note* Saks could use the sales)  Originally a limited edition by Francis Kurkdjian, it became a viral sensation thanks to TikTok. Suddenly, every teenager with a ring light was describing it as “the smell of old money” or “a luxury hotel bottled.”

What does it smell like? Sweet, woody, slightly medicinal, and very noticeable. Subtlety is not in its vocabulary. Baccarat Rouge 540 is less “whisper of elegance” and more “megaphone of luxury.” You won’t wonder who’s wearing it because you’ll know from across the street.

Then there is Creed Aventus.

The Legend

Released in 2010, it somehow made pineapple and smoke smell like power. It was marketed as inspired by Napoleon, which is fitting: it conquered fragrance counters everywhere and established Creed as the go-to for hedge fund managers, wedding grooms, and guys who insist on saying “bespoke.” Aventus is also the most counterfeited fragrance on earth, which is both flattering and tragic. If you meet someone claiming they’re wearing Aventus but it smells like cheap hairspray, odds are they got the $35 “version” from a mall kiosk. The real deal, however, still pulls compliments a decade later—though probably not from anyone who works in fragrance retail and has smelled it a thousand times.

From Brooklyn, With Love

Finally, the cult fragrance that became a meme: Le Labo Santal 33. This smoky, sandalwood-heavy perfume was supposed to be niche cool. Instead, it became the scent of every creative director, fashion editor, and barista in Brooklyn. People started joking that you could walk into any coffee shop and everyone, from the guy making your oat latte to the girl next to you “working on her novel”, was drenched in Santal 33. Le Labo probably didn’t mind. They laughed all the way to the bank while selling $300 bottles of liquid lumberjack. Yes, it’s overexposed. Yes, it smells fantastic. And yes, if you wear it, someone will roll their eyes and mutter, “Oh, of course.”